Stargate Nightclub Now Daycare

ST. PAUL, MN – Stargate Nightclub & Bar will be closing within the month and what they’ll open up as will surprise you.  Bar owners had a change of heart as they’ve finally come to their senses and want to promote positive influences in the community, instead of depriving it with nights of humping and grinding.  “We felt that it was finally time to change our business, because what if that was your sister or aunt on the dance floor getting humped by multiple guys?  How would you feel?  How do you talk to her the next day at the family reunion?” responded the newly near sighted owner.

Renovations will continue as Stargate has already been awarded a child daycare license in the city.  “It didn’t take much for them to approve this license, as opposed to our liquor license!” the bar owner quipped.  “Regulations are still tight for daycare businesses, but the payoff is more than worth it when I can see the same clients I had as a nightclub owner coming to pick up their kids.  It really warms my heart.” ■

For further information, please contact:

Stargate CHILD DAYCARE
1700 Rice Street
Saint Paul, MN
(651) 555-9393

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Written by Zaub Qaub

They say he still holds the Midwest's record for growing the largest cucumber, but he modestly claims "it's really not that big" as he tucks it into his pant legs. ZQ is dedicated to feeding the world with veggies from his garden. You can find him at most farmer's markets, looking for the freshest leaves to toss his salad.

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