Hmong Man Stabbed in Sports Bar

Eau Claire, WI – Zack Vang was repeatedly stabbed in a Sports Bar on January 25, 2015 while returning home to visit his friends and family.  The man had traveled all the way from Seattle and went to a local sports bar with some friends and family when things got sour.

Was this a racially charged altercation?  Our sources say no.  Lee Vang, cousin of Zack Vang, was there with Zack when the incident took place.  We asked Lee his version of what had happened that night.

Was it racially charged?  No, because I stabbed him first.  Zack wasn’t just my cousin, he was also my best friend.  He had moved to Seattle and became a Seahawks fan though, and when he came back to visit he came back with a Seahawks jersey.  I just couldn’t help myself.  They say blood is thicker than water, but I bleed green and gold.  I wasn’t the only person that felt that way, my wife grabbed the knife after me and took a few turns.  Everybody in that bar did so as well.  I think everybody in Wisconsin was there that night stabbing away.  Even the Green Bay Packers were there that night; I got Aaron Rodger’s autograph.”

It had only been a week since the playoff game on Sunday January 18th, 2015 between the Packers and the Seahawks.  Many are still a little butt hurt about the game.  The restaurant owner described the event as nothing he had ever seen before.  The stabbing event lasted for three long days and when it was all over the victim could only be described as shredded meat with pieces of his jersey here and there.

Pictured: actual victim

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Written by Zaub Qaub

They say he still holds the Midwest's record for growing the largest cucumber, but he modestly claims "it's really not that big" as he tucks it into his pant legs. ZQ is dedicated to feeding the world with veggies from his garden. You can find him at most farmer's markets, looking for the freshest leaves to toss his salad.

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