Debate between Minnesota & Wisconsin Women

Eau Claire, Wisconsin – A meeting of the brightest academic scholars, successful business women, doctors, lawyers, and other professionals was held at the Florian Gardens Conference Center in Eau Claire, Wisconsin this past weekend.  Many representatives from Hmong Women Achieving Together (HWAT), Association of the Advancement of Hmong Women in Minnesota (AAHWM) and Hmong American Women’s Association of Milwaukee (HAWA) were also in attendance.  These women were all gathered to represent their respective states.  The agenda was to close many years of debate and the right to finally claim their state as the “First state to invent rice in a bag.”

The meeting started out great.  Everyone loved the potluck-styled gathering and complimented each other’s food.  Towards the end of the meeting,  Pa Nhia Lor, who everyone agreed as having the cutest pair of shoes, stepped towards the microphone.  She would be Minnesota’s last person to present evidence supporting her state as inventor of “rice in a bag.”

“I’d like to present this picture as evidence.  This is from a picnic at Keller Park in St. Paul, MN in 1990 and as you can see in this picture, we have purple sticky rice in plastic zip lock bags.”

This drew applause and cheer from the MN women.  “Woooo, woooo, woooo.”  The cheering was short lived. Nkauj Hnub Yang stepped up to be the last presenter for Wisconsin.  She also had the cutest dress which was agreed upon by everyone in attendance.

“Hi everyone, I’d like to present my picture from my graduation party in 1989. See we had our aunt pack our purple sticky rice in sandwich bags.”

The Minnesota crowd went silent as cheers and feet stomping came from the Wisconsin side.  Pa Nhia Lor grabbed the microphone.

“HOLD UP, HOLD UP! As advanced modern independent women, we can NOT accept the use of sandwich bags for our rice, that is too FOBBY!”

The Minnesota representatives wanted to void the last evidence from the Wisconsin group for a technicality.  This is when all hell broke loose.  Insults were swung back and forth between the groups, mostly in their native Hmong language.  “I can’t believe she called us Hmoob Thai Teb. She is related to me too, my uncle’s cousin’s wife’s sister is married to her brother,” said Flower Thao.  ZQ can’t reprint the other insults which involved female genitalia and men of different colors.  This went on for 30 minutes before the manager of the conference center kicked both groups out for disorderly conduct.  No refunds were given.

Both groups did not want to comment on what happened but they want this resolved before the July 4th Freedom Festival that takes place annually in Minnesota.  We will have another meeting before then, having already summoned the help of the 18 Xeem clan organization to be mediators.

What do you guys think, which state invented the “Rice in a Bag” first? ■

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Written by Zaub Qaub

They say he still holds the Midwest's record for growing the largest cucumber, but he modestly claims "it's really not that big" as he tucks it into his pant legs. ZQ is dedicated to feeding the world with veggies from his garden. You can find him at most farmer's markets, looking for the freshest leaves to toss his salad.

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