18 Xeem Coin Created For Hmong

St. Paul, MN – The Hmong 18 Clan Council that represents all clans of the Hmong people have instituted a new currency for multiple purposes in the Hmong community.  Effective immediately, the use of these 18 Xeem coins will be mandated for use across the country in funerals, marriages, and to settle all other forms of debt within the Hmong community.  Those who fail to utilize the new currency for Hmong related matters will be penalized with a stern talking to by elders.

Inspired by the recent success of cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin or SpaceKim coins, the Hmong 18 Clan Council sought ways to cash in consolidate some of the issues with money during certain Hmong events, such as nyiaj tshav ntuj “sunshine money” for donations at funerals, or dowry payments for brides during marriage negotiations.  The issues with large sums of cash in these transactions is that it’s difficult to bypass IRS tax regulations and getting popped for depositing large cash amounts will just make things more difficult when you need to fill up on gas on your weed delivery run from California.  Not that we would know anything about that.

The new 18 Xeem coins can be exchanged and retrieved directly from an elder treasurer assigned to your Hmong clan in major Hmong metropolitan cities, or conveniently through the Hmong 18 Clan Council website via electronic funds transfer.  There is only a small fee to convert your cash into 18 Xeem Coins, but you can fully trust that the currency is backed by the blood, sacrifices, and spirits of your ancestors.  Strict regulations of the coins will also be overseen by the 18 Clan Council to prevent misuse of the coins for inappropriate transactions, such as paying your rent or credit card bills.  Below, we list some of the approved use for your 18 Xeem coins as quoted by the Hmong 18 Clan Council:

  • Dowry payments to the family of the bride
  • Funeral donations
  • Support of long-distant relatives and lovers in Laos and Thailand
  • Beer
  • All sales at Hmong Village and Hmong Town in MN
  • Alimony (only if the spouse is Hmong)
  • Gambling debt (only to Hmong bookies)
  • Entrance to New Year events
  • Accepted at all Hmong grocery stores

More approved transactions will be posted on the Hmong 18 Clan Council website as they are approved for usage.  The new coins will be distributed across the country in proportion to the Hmong population, so look for these shiny pieces of Hmong history.

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Written by Zaub Qaub

They say he still holds the Midwest's record for growing the largest cucumber, but he modestly claims "it's really not that big" as he tucks it into his pant legs. ZQ is dedicated to feeding the world with veggies from his garden. You can find him at most farmer's markets, looking for the freshest leaves to toss his salad.

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